***An ancient tale - Living again
An ancient tale - Living againForth she brought the words: fortuitous, sang-froid, sangfroid, brio, afflatus, perspicacity, prelapsarian and redivivus.Happening by chance; coming, she caused the...
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SD~ I am not sure of your intent in this one.The first two lines are orphan on style from the remainder, and as there is no loop back at the end, they just seem to hang there. The content of those...
View ArticleRe: ***An ancient tale - Living again
I can sense the intention with this poem although i do not undertand it
View ArticleRe: ***An ancient tale - Living again
Hi RGNot only do I seem to have affinity with your poems, your crits has that same quality! Tnx.Your remarks: - orphan lines : quite. I will attend to it.- communication lost : an important point and...
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OK RGI have thought about it (but not in a way that I'm doing something about it! This 'communication' idea of yours...). Anyway, I feel that I had withheld some information re the poem. The poem is...
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An interesting one sDutty. I like the first lines as they are as it sets the piece well I feel an for me gives meaning to what follows. I can't pretend to fully understand it but like Jan I have a...
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SD~, read through the whole work. Parts 1 and 111 have good flow and no feel of choppyness. Part 11 is not of the same caliber as those. In the whole, I like what you are doing. I don't recognize the...
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Tnx Jean! And RG, oh sure you hit it 'write' in the center ... and I sense in your response now too a fair amount of sound intution: eg '...poet can take on a personna outside of himself and write...
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To those not so familiar with the names used in the poems.Small explanations:1. Hlodin, Freja and Perchta = 3 faces of 'Eve' or Architypical Witch, Mother, the 'real' Muse hides behind these 3...
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SD~, thanks for the additional background info. I can see better what you were going for and think it is well worth tweaking to complete it. It will be interesting to see your final version.In...
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I fully agree with you. Simplicity or rather clarity is very important. Some of Jean's love poems have that quality! (Wink, Jean!) And I think it all comes down to honesty. Acknowledgement and...
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An attempt to edit Poem 2 Poem Two : An ancient tale - Living againHer magic brought forth the box and in the box soft voices murmered the words: fortuitous, sang-froid, sangfroid, brio, afflatus,...
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SDUTTY, Is it too late to say that I liked the original poem here tho I know I did not understand it all? LOL I enjoyed the poem, I liked the discussion that followed.Jared
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Tnx Jared! Don't worry about understanding my work, I have that same problem! Probably its a common thing among poets anyway... Smile! Not understanding their 'stuff' as they are too buzy writing it!+...
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Wonderful effort SD! I too like Jared prefer the first edition!lol:)I think perhaps you should have stuck to the inner voice you were telling me about!lol
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Grrrrrr! Terrible, Jean! Oh, poems do get one, don't they? I picked up that same feeling re the first draft since I started 'editing' it. Ok, there's something 'wrong' with it especially re its place...
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LOL, SDUTTY!Jared (which is to say which of us has not felt all this!)
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Aaaaah non, Jean! Just as I had again started to consider the original version as being not so bad after all! Smile! Say, the edition you brought to the 'nighting gale' poem as I am calling it now...
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Thank you SD! Yes I do feel a bit sad really but I have made a webpage for my poetry site and kept the original. I haven't had time to change it yet but perhaps I'll leave it for now.lolIf you have...
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SD~, I am glad you think so. Now, how do I get you on the acceptance committees of all those places that don't seem to agree RG
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